Finding You
by Jasam777
Summary: Takes place after the July 11th episode. Jason and Sam find their way back together. A story of love and forgiveness.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own GH or any of their characters this is merely my fanfiction

**Authors Note:** I am a beloved Jasam fan, I think they are wonderful and the GH writers are driving me insane with the current storyline and I know it will go one forever before they get back together…and so here lies the reason why I am writing this fanfiction. My story begins right after the July 11th episode

Chapter #1

Jason stood there outside of Kelly's diner for what felt like hours twisting his wedding band in his fingers. He had never felt so many emotions at one time, and could not seem to process them. He was confused, hurt, angry, regretful, and indecisive all at once. Sam was his wife. He knew this, but yet they were so a part from where they had been, so much had happened to tear them a part.

He knew that the root of their problems stemmed from himself. He could not seem to except Franco's baby, even though he knew he was pushing away Sam by doing that. But he could not lie to her, it just wasn't in him. But then, when he found her baby after life had been taken out of him he knew in that moment that he could have loved this little boy. He could have been a father to him and raised him to be his own with Sam. But he would never get the chance.

When he had decided to send his men after John McBain he had not been thinking about all of the angles. He just wanted him to go away. He wanted him to stop going after Sonny and his business, and he wanted him to stop going after his wife. He wanted Sam to stop confiding in this man, and come to him. Except, what Jason had come to realize was this was not Mcbain's fault, it was his and his alone. He had refused to support his wife in her time of need and she had turned to John because she couldn't turn to her own husband.

What had been the most unexpected and excruciating part of this whole story had been that his attack against McBain had ultimately cost Sam her baby. And for that, there was no return. How could she ever trust him again and love him knowing that if it wasn't for him she would have her son. No, there was no going back, especially after the happenings on the 4th of July. Kissing other people that night had been the nail in the coffin, but if that was true why was he standing outside of Kelly's hoping to God that Sam would come back and he could catch a glimpse of what she really felt.

When Sam had entered Kelly's earlier she had seemed genially hurt that Jason would turn the Elizabeth. This struck Jason as very hypocritical because of what he had witnessed between Sam and McBain, until she began to explain. It was just a kiss, she was drunk, and they were both upset. This was something that Jason could relate to and understand, and he wanted to go to her and make everything right. But there was no return, not after everything that had happened.

And so as the sun went down and as the wind picked up Jason took a seat at one of the patio chairs outside of Kelly's. He sat to remember his marriage, to try and figure out how he was going to let Sam go when he was still so desperately in love with her. How he was going to begin to start over, even when he didn't want to.

Sam sat at her desk at the new Sun office and tried to read over the documents that were in front of her. Try as she might she could not seem to focus today. After her run in with Jason and Elizabeth at Kelly's she wasn't sure if she would ever think of anything else besides her husband kissing his ex. She knew she had no right to confront them when she did, not after what conspired between her and McBain on the docks. But, she was never one to think before she acted, she relied on her instincts, and all of them were screaming at her to go in confront the two of them.

What she had not been prepared for was Jason to come back at her and reveal that he saw the kiss the night before. She was mortified that he had seen her at her weakest point, betraying their wedding vows. No matter how hurt, upset, and drunk she was she should not have kissed McBain. She still didn't really understand it herself why she did. There was definitely chemistry between the two of them, but she would never feel for him, or anyone, like she did for Jason.

Jason haunted her every thought. He was her rock, her home, and now he was her estranged husband and she was not sure that they would ever get back to one another. How could she get over the fact that if it wasn't for Jason her son would be alive? She wanted so bad to forgive and forget, but how could she? Being a mother was the one and only thing that she wanted and she would never get it again.

Dr. Lee had said that Sam could still conceive children, that wasn't the issue. But Sam knew that she could never risk loosing another child again. She had fallen a part after her daughter passed, and with Jason's help she came back to life. And now all of her hopes and dreams of having a family with Jason was gone for good. There was no going back.

Sam had to figure out how she was going to come back to life this time, and this time she had to do it on her own. She could not rely on Jason anymore, she had to focus just on herself. And with that Sam looked down at the documents on her desk once more and made a mental promise to try to go on with her life. She was a survivor and she could survive this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own GH or any of the GH characters

**Chapter #2**

Sam slowly walked down the steps of the pier and took a seat on the bench to watch the water. The water was always a calming element for her, ever since she was a little girl doing cons with her old man on boats. The water was peaceful. However, tonight it did not seem to calm her. Her insides were in knots and she could not seem to soothe them. She had tried burring her thoughts with work, and that was an utter failure.

Todd had sent her home early…again! He mentioned something about need to go help and friend at the PCPD and rushed off. Sam had a feeling that that "friend" was Heather Webber but she did not seem to have the strength to follow him to confirm her suspicions. She would have to break the news to Spinelli that she lost an opportune moment to get a lead, but that would come tomorrow. Tonight she realized that there was no way she could think of anything else except for her failing marriage.

"Catching up on some thoughts?" a familiar voice said from behind her. Carly. Just a few months a go Sam would have not wanted to acknowledge her, but as of lately she had begun to see another side of her. This would of coarse change once Carly found out that there was no hope left in her marriage.

"Hi Carly," Sam said without turning around. "Your out late."

"I could say the same about you. I am on my way home from Johnny's."

"Ahh," Sam could not think of anything else to say. She was not really in the mood for a conversation and wished that she would just keep walking on home. However, if she knew Carly she would not leave without putting her two cents in.

"Not very comfortable at your Alexis's place are you? I could think of a very nice penthouse that would better suit you taste." Carly commented.

"Carly, please," Sam began

"Please what? Stop telling you what you already know?"

Sam finally stood up to face Carly. She looked very dressed up, she noted, in a red dress. Sam longed for the days when she had somewhere to go all dressed up to.

"Sam, I just wish that you would stop getting in your own way. Jason loves you, trust me I know him best."

"Yes, he loves me so much that he is kissing Elizabeth!" As soon as the words came out of her mouth she immediately regretted them. Why would she tell Carly all of this! It was like telling the internet.

"What!" Carly said, "That little skank! She pretends to be all high and mighty when really all she does is steal people's husbands! Where is she? I have a few words that I would like to say to her." Carly turned to leave and Sam grabbed her elbow. She had opened the floodgates and now she would need to tell her the whole story.

"He kissed her Carly" Sam explained.

"He what! Oh Sam, you know that he did not mean it! When people are hurt and upset they…"

"Yes, I know that. And that is what happened with me and John." Sam figured ripping off the bandage was the best way to tell her the news.

"You kiss John McBain! I cannot believe that you would do that to Jason! He is a cop Sam, do you know that? Never mind his profession, your married to Jason, does that not mean anything!"

"What happened to not meaning it, and when people are hurt and upset they…" Sam exclaimed. Why she had started this conversation she would never know.

"That only applied to Jason!" Carly exclaimed. Then she stopped and took a few breaths, "That is unfair, isn't it?"

"A little," Sam said, "but I understand why you take his side. He is your bestfriend."

"And you're his wife Sam, don't you remember?"

Sam turned towards the water and sighed. She didn't want to remember. When ever she remembered that she was Jason Morgan's wife she also had to remember how is all fell a part. And that was something she was trying to avoid tonight.

"I can see you are upset." Carly stated, and paused joined Sam on her lookout of the water. "I think I know something that will help you."

"Please Carly I just want to be alone with my thoughts right now. Then I will go home."

"Alexis' house is not your home."

"I know that, but I cannot go home to Jason either"

"Not yet anyways…"

"Carly!" Sam was beginning to get irritated. She understood that Carly was trying to be nice and to help her, but she really just wanted to be alone.

"I get it Sam! Ill stop, but I would just like to offer one thing to you."

"What's that?" Sam said.

"Instead of going back to your mom's house you can go to a room at the Metro Hotel!"

"What?" Sam was taken a back by the gesture.

"You need a place to relax and think, right? And I have a feeling that you are out here on the docks at nighttime because you cannot do that at Alexis' house! So, why not a 5 star hotel?"

"Wow, Carly. I don't know what to say." A place to go and be alone sounded amazing to her, but she was still in awe that is was being offered to her by Carly of all people.

"Just say yes! I will be at the Metro Court first thing in the morning and I will set it all up. Extended stay, no limitations on time so you can just relax."

"Okay, then I say yes. I cannot thank you enough Carly. I will tell Alexis first thing in the morning."

"Great! Now get away from these docks, there is no use being out for hours contemplating life."

"Okay," Sam began to walk away, and then turned, "Carly, why are you being so nice to me?" she asked.

"Well, it's hard to explain. But lately I have begun to put a spotlight on myself and realize that I have made a lot of mistakes myself and a lot of people have forgiven me. So I am trying to return the favor. With Johnny, and with you." Carly explained.

"Well, whatever your reasoning, thank you." Sam said

"Welcome" Carly said as she watched Sam walk away. She shook her head, this forgiving thing and becoming a better person thing definitely suited her, she thought. She reached in her purse and pulled out her phone. Pressing a speed dial she called Jason, and of coarse got voicemail. "Hey Jason, it's Carly. I need to see you tomorrow, it's important. Can you come to the Metro Court Hotel tomorrow? Please! Love you!" and with that she began her walk home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gh or Gh characters

Chapter #3

Jason walked into the Metro Court Hotel at about ten in the morning. He would have been there earlier, because Carly had said that she needed him, but he had a long night. After many hours outside of Kelly's he finally decided to go back to his Penthouse, a place that lately he had been avoiding. It was filled with memoires and pictures from his life with Sam and that was exactly what he let himself morn last night. But he woke up this morning and made it a point to keep himself distracted today. Which lead him to go and see Carly, who no doubt had some crisis to deal with.

As he walked to the front desk Carly turned around and greeted him with a large smile."Hi Jason! How are you doing this morning?" she exclaimed, she was quite cheery he noted for having a crisis.

"Hi Carly, what's going on?"

"Wow, had a bad night? I didn't even get a smile!" She put on a fake pout to try to make Jason feel better, but it was to no use.

"I'm fine. You said to meet you here, and here I am."

"Okay, well I guess we will just skip to nice salutations then, "Carly said, "I wanted to ask you if you were doing alright. I ran into Sam last night and…"

"Carly, we are not talking about me. Is something going on with you or did you just drag me here to discuss my life?"

"Wow, okay Jason. Of coarse I didn't ask you here to talk about your marriage, which is exactly what you are, married!"

"Carly!"

"Sorry, okay. So, I have this security problem that I need your help with."

"Really?" Jason had a feeling that Carly was making this up, but figured that he would play along just for the sake of staying busy.

"Yes Really!" She said defensively. "I have a customer that has been causing a lot of noise and is refusing to leave the hotel."

"And why wouldn't you have your hotel security deal with that?" he asked

"Well, I did, and this customer just doesn't seem to respect authority. I thought maybe I would try another type of authority, and that is where you come in!" She exclaimed.

"Okay, I have a feeling that this story is a bit of a stretch, but I will check it out for you just because I don't have the energy to fight with you, what room is he in?" Jason asked.

"Why don't you have energy? I hope you didn't have company by the name of Elizabeth last night!"

"What do you know about that?" Jason asked startled that Carly knew anything about this.

"Like I said, I ran into Sam last night, and we had a talk," She said.

"Okay, whatever. Like I said we are not discussing this! What room is this security issue in?"

"Jason! You cannot really be thinking of throwing your marriage away for Elizabeth! She has this way of conning you, and I cannot stand it! I could just…"

"What room Carly!"

"Fine! Room 377." And with that Jason turned and headed towards the elevator, "But this is not over!" Carly called after him.

Once Jason was finally in the elevator he shook his head at Carly. She didn't understand, and could not be farther from the truth. He regretted the kiss with Elizabeth the moment it happened. It was unfair to her because she was just trying to be a friend to him, and because he felt nothing but friendship towards her. The kiss was simply just something that he thought would make him feel better in the moment. He could not stop thinking about Sam and McBain and thought maybe kissing Elizabeth would make the pain go away. It did no such thing.

The elevator opened to the third floor and he took a deep breath. Time to distract himself with whatever this security issue was.

Sam heard a knock on the door and she groaned. She had checked into the hotel about an hour a go, and proceeded to close the blinds and get into bed. She wanted to just rest and forget about everything! But now, there was a knock on the door! She could only assume it was housekeeping, or room service. But she had put a "do not disturb" sign on the door, so that could only mean one thing. It was Carly!

As she got out of bed and walked towards the closet to find her black silk robe the knocking intensified. She knew it was too good be true! Could she really expect Carly to respect her privacy when for all the years that she knew her she had done the complete opposite of that? As she walked toward the door she could only remind herself that Carly was doing her a huge favor by letting her stay in the hotel, so the least she could do was open the door for her. She finally reached the door and swung it open. "What Carly!" she exclaimed, before she realized it was not Carly at the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gh or Gh characters

Chapter #4:

Jason pounded on room 377 for what seemed like the millionth time. He was beginning to believe Carly that this guy from this room was a real problem when the door swung open.

"What! Carly!"

Jason's heart leaped into his throat as he stood there staring at his wife. Usually he could see Carly's plans coming from a mile away, but arranging a meeting between him and his estranged wife that on a good day she only tolerated took him by surprise. He could not think of anything to say, she he just stood there and stared at her. She looked absolutely beautiful. Her hair was rustled around her head making him believe that she had just gotten out of bed. She had clearly thrown on her black robe quickly because it was falling off her shoulders revealing her pajamas underneath. He quickly moved his gaze back to her face and realized that she was just as surprised to see him as he was to see her.

Sam stood there, shocked. She silently kicked herself for letting Carly manipulate her this way. However, this was not very original and she knew she should have seen this coming. Jason stared at her, his bright blue eyes beaming into hers, with more emotion in them than she had seen in a long time. She stood there frozen, not sure what to say. This was ridiculous! This was Jason, her husband. She could at least talk to him! She took a deep breath. "Hi," she said.

"Hi," was all Jason could get out. He was shaken by the fact that yesterday he had been so sure there was no going back, and this mourning all he wanted to do was beg for forgiveness and make it all better. But he knew that he could not do that.

"So, did Carly.." She trailed off. The way he was looking at her made her squirm. She wished so much they could go back to the way that it was before. She tried again, "Did Carly, tell you I was here?" she asked, knowing that by his reaction to her opening the door it was obvious she hadn't clued Jason in.

"No." Jason mentally kicked himself. Why could he not speak! He was a man of few words, but this was just ridiculous.

"Okay, well. Um.." Sam looked at the floor. She could no longer continue to hold his gaze. She didn't know what to say to him, she could not figure out the next move. She decided to play it safe, just make some conversation. "So, what story did Carly come up with this time?"

Jason took a breath. He could do this. He could have a conversation with his own wife. "She claimed that there was a security issue in this room and asked me to go check it out." He answered.

"Oh," Sam said, "She offered me a room last night here, so that I didn't have to stay at Alexis' house."

"Did you want to leave Alexis'?" he asked. As he said it, he realized the unspoken question that he had just asked. Did she want to come home, he had just asked her that.

Sam looked at him for a moment, obviously trying to figure out what to say. "I felt…crowded, by my mom, Kristina, and Molly. I love them all, don't get me wrong. But I just wanted to be alone."

"Do you want to be alone right now?" He asked. He could not quite figure out what he was getting himself into. Last night he had convinced himself that there was no hope, and now he was basically asking her if she wanted to talk to him right now.

Sam didn't know what to say. She had wanted to be alone this morning, but now more than ever she wanted to pretend that things were normal again. " Um, what I want is to not be in a robe in my hallway. Do you want to come in?" she asked, not exactly sure why.

"Sure" Jason said without thinking. The last time Sam had asked him to come into her hotel room had been on her birthday. He had come to wish her a happy birthday, only to have made her more miserable but not taking her invitation to come in to talk. He was not going to make the same mistake again.

Sam stared at him, she didn't think that he would say yes. She had assumed that he could run for the nearest exit. But he agreed to come in. And now she had to figure out why she had even invited him in in the first place. "Okay, um, I am just going to go change, you can come and sit on the coach?" Carly had generously given her a sweet complete with a full kitchen and living room. Maybe Jason's sneaky friend had known that if there was just a bed room that Sam would not have invited him in. Not that she wouldn't have wanted to, but because that would only complicate matters further.

Sam turned to go into the bedroom and Jason came inside the room and sat on the coach. He sat there patiently as she changed her outfit 4 times before deciding to just wear a pair of jeans and a black tank top. When she emerged from the room she took a seat next to Jason on the creamed colored sofa. As soon as she sat down she immediately regretted her choice of seats. They were too close for comfort, and the butterflies in her stomach began to speed up. She looked down at her hands so to avoid making eye contact with him. "So…" she said.

Jason couldn't explain it, he didn't even want to. He was sick of thinking, he was just inches from his wife and just wanted to feel. He had been trying for months now not to feel, but in this moment he could not convince himself to do that. Sam sat there staring at her hands, and Jason wanted her to look at him. He reached out with his hand and tilted her chin up so that she met his gaze.

Sam stopped breathing the moment that she felt his fingers on her chin. When her eyes locked his she could not look away. Her husband was the most mesmerizing thing she had ever seen. And she could not think as Jason slowly leaned closer to her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own gh or any gh characters

**Chapter#5**

Slowly, slowly Jason leaned into Sam. His eyes asked a silent question to her, making sure it was okay. He wanted desperately to kiss her. He had wanted to for months now. He wanted his wife back. This realization struck him like lightening and rippled through his body. He leaned in closer and she did not pull away which signaled him to go for it.

Sam took a quick inhale as his lips came crashing down onto hers. She knew that this moment would not fix it all. She knew that it could not change what happened, or take away the pain. But in that moment she didn't want to think. In that moment she wanted to kiss Jason with every fiber in her brain.

The kiss started out slow, as if they were reintroducing themselves to ones another. Jason's hands cupped her face and he deepened the kiss. He pulled her closer to him and let their instincts take over. This is what he wanted, in this moment. A kiss with his wife, this kiss felt nothing like what he had experienced on the 4th of July. He was in so much pain as he witnessed Sam with someone else, but this kiss, right here and right now put it all into perspective. This is the person that he was meant to share all of his kisses with, and he could only hope that when this was over she would agree.

Sam could not believe what was happening, but she could not push him away, so instead she opened her mouth and let him caress her mouth with his tongue. This was so easy, to be with Jason. This kiss took away any and all doubts that her kiss with Mcbain meant absolutely nothing. This was passion, love, and fire all rolled into one. She did not know what this meant, but she vowed to not be the first to break this. She knew that once it was over that reality would have to come back.

What seemed like hours later Jason finally ended the kiss. He leaned back and looked at his wife, taking her in. Her eyes were already questioning everything, he could tell. He sighed, he knew that this could not last. The euphoria had to come to an end and reality and logic would take over, as they both would begin to think of how the other one hurt them. But to his surprise Sam put her head on his shoulder and hugged him.

Jason didn't know what this meant, but he was given an opportunity to hold her and support her, finally. He relaxed on the coach and began to stroke her hair. He kissed the top of her head, and could swear that no time had passed at all. But, it had. Things had happened to the both of them that could not be taken back.

Sam was the first one to break the silence first. "Jason, I…I want you to know something,"

"What's that?" he asked.

"What you saw on the docks…with me and John." She didn't want to bring it up, but felt like she should get it out of the way.

"We don't need to talk about it." Jason said shortly. He did not want to think about it, it made him want to throw something, and he didn't wanted to ruin this moment, because he didn't know how long it would last.

"What you saw meant nothing. I really was just upset and we had been drinking, he really is just a friend." Jason flinched because even the idea of her being friends with him made him sick to his stomach. "I will never love anyone like I love you." Sam said quietly, almost inaudibly.

Jason hugged her tight and then realized what she needed to know in this moment, "The kiss with me and Elizabeth meant nothing." He said, and could feel her flinch, but she didn't pull away which spoke volumes. " I was upset after seeing you, with _him_, and I reacted. I regretted it as soon as it happened." He said.

"Okay," Sam said

"And," Jason continued, "I will never love anyone like I love you."

Sam took a deep breath and sat up away from Jason's embrace. She looked at him and shook her head, "But Jason, where does this leave us? Nothing's changed."

Jason looked at her, hurt that his words of love had resulted in her beginning to shut down. "Nothing?" he asked.

She looked towards the door and then back at him, "We have always had chemistry and love Jason, that is not the problem. The problem is that too much has happened. I need…" she trailed off.

He grabbed her hands in his own, "What do you need?"

She looked back at him and sighed, "What do you want?" she asked him squarely. He was not expecting this question but he knew at once what he wanted.

"I want you," he said simply.

She looked at him. Her husband. She had promised to love him for better and for worse. The last couple of months had for sure been their worse. But could they get it back? Should they try? "Can we take this slow?" she asked, not sure if she could commit to anything right now.

"Whatever you need," he said, reminding her why she fell in love with him in the first place.

Jason's phone began and he looked down at it and back up to her, the last thing that he wanted to do was mess this up by answering a work phone call. "Answer it Jason. Nothing can be fixed with one conversation," she said.

"Yeah?" Jason answered and listened to Spinelli on the other end of the line, "Yeah, I am with her right now…Okay, I will." He hung up and looked at Sam. "Spinelli has been calling you repeatedly for the last couple of hours, he says he has some information about a very important case."

"I turned off my phone, for some rest." She said getting up.

"What's the case?" Jason asked.

"Um, do you mind if I tell you later? I think I need to get to the office and go talk to Spinelli first." She asked. She was not trying to close him out, but this thing, whatever it was with Jason was new, and she really did want to take it slow.

"Sure, can I walk you downstairs?" he asked. He was hurt that she didn't want to share her case with him, but didn't want to push the issue. He was on the verge of getting his wife back and would not do anything to mess this up.

"Yes, you can," she gave him a short smile and took the lead towards the door. Once the elevator door was closed she was surprised when Jason stepped closer to her, and took her hand. "Jason…" she trailed off not sure if it was a good idea to get so close again after the kiss in her hotel room.

He leaned in and gave her a very short but very memorable kiss on the lips. "I love you," he whispered in her ear and felt her shudder. She looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. The elevator door opened and she rushed out, she needed air. She didn't know what to say or do, she looked at the front desk and saw a wide eyed Carly staring back at her.

"I gotta go Jason, I think Carly wants to talk to you." She said before making a quick exit out of the hotel. She saw her out and took it.

All of the sudden everything was different, and she didn't know how to process it all. And she didn't think that she needed to figure it all out now. Now, she needed to work and get to the bottom of Heather Webber.


End file.
